spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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