yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
