Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
