# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
