There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
