True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
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still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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