The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
