i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
