can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
