i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
