Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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