i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
