I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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