Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
youre lurking in front of me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
