Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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