i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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