dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
