there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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