I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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