Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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