just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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