Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
