how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
