Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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