He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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