There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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