Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Send help, water and tortillas.
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