I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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