The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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