oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
