Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
