Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
