Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
