I just saw a hot homeless man
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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