There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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