420 ftw
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
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my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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