at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
