fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
