Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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