Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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