This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
