i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
