I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
