is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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