Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
