i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
