i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
