You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
