I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Drake has all the answers
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
