He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize