I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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