Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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