i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize