I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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