my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
