There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
