He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
