So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize