Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
