Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
