I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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