i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
