He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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