last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just high enough for therapy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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